30 Fucking 7! Yes 37.......What did I expect? And where actually am I?


Yo,
So as I sit here writing this in 2 whole weeks I will be 37! 37?? I can remember thinking 37 was old! And I still feel like i'm 17! Just to point this out I'm not one of them women that has a major issue with age, clearly otherwise I wouldn't be posting it all over here but really 37? When the fuck did that happen?

At 37 I was supposed to be in a loving marriage with children, running my own trinket shop and going on at least 3 holidays every year, two being family and one being an adventure for my and my significant other. I would fall to sleep at night knowing that my family were financially stable, with 2 cars in the drive and a family pet, I would be fit and live a healthy life and have already partaken in 2 Marathons!........urm wake up Miss Pud! yep Miss Pud! There's no ring on this finger!

So where am I?.....I have two of the most beautiful children in the world George and Arthur (Yeah i'm biased) Single, and not working other than with Yorkshire Pud. Last year was hard when my heart was ripped out by the love of my life and then some other dickhead decided to string me along even though he had a girlfirend so be honest it's put me off the whole meeting blokes and dating stuff for a while. So for me the dream was very different however I am very happy with my current situation, it has taken me a while and a lot of rebuilding but I am very happy.

Where do I want to be?...I look back and think all I have done is stuff for everyone else and never actually put myself at the front of the queue?! (Other than my children they will always be at the front!) But me? I was always at the back. I'm that person who offers the last Rolo to anyone, gives lifts to airports in the middle of the night because there's no one else, keeps peace with horrible people just to make life easier and to be fair I'm not sure I can continue for the next 36 years of my life! I have stopped myself doing the things I love just because it didn't fit in with someone else...How fucking stupid is that? Weeks are just flying by and I've not actually changed or done anything with regularity or purpose for myself purposefully. I live for my children that's for sure but I'm still me, I'm still Emma aka Yorkshire Pud and I need to be ME! #NOFUCKSGIVEN

37 is gonna be a good year for me as it has to be the year I make some changes and do more things for me.......I'm going to be selfish to people who don't deserve me or my time and I shall be kinder to those that have my back. I will put time in to making routines that help me, my boys and my mind, try new hobbies, have interests and generally just working out who i am?!

Fucking go ME! Toodle Pip!

Anyone else get where I'm coming from?